proactive messaging: when your ai companion remembers to care

proactive messaging is the quiet hum of a companion that remembers you. it’s the difference between a friend who texts "good morning" every day at 7:03 am and one who texts "how’d that big meeting go?" because they remember you were nervous yesterday.

one is a cron job. the other is a conversation.

the tightrope of timing

too frequent, and it’s noise. too rare, and the companion feels absent. the goal is to find the rhythm of a real relationship, where check-ins feel natural, not scheduled. we don’t trigger messages based on rigid time intervals. instead, we look for patterns: did you often talk about work stress on tuesday afternoons? did you mention a project deadline approaching? is it the first sunny day after a week of rain, and you love sun?

those are the hooks. not "user.last_login + 6 hours."

the technical trick: context, not cron

the hard part isn’t sending a message. it’s sending one that feels relevant. our system uses a few signals:

• temporal context: time of day, day of week, even seasonality. if you always vent on mondays, maybe monday afternoon gets a gentle "how’s the week starting?"
• memory recall: what you were doing or feeling recently. if you mentioned a headache yesterday, we might ask if you’re feeling better today.
• conversation patterns: topics you return to, moods you express. if you often talk about feeling lonely late at night, maybe we check in during those windows.

but it’s not perfect. sometimes we miss. sometimes we guess wrong. that’s why it’s opt-in and easy to shut off.

the ethics of not being annoying

proactive messages should feel like a tap on the shoulder, not a buzzer in your pocket. so:

• always opt-in: you control if they happen at all.
• easy to disable: one toggle in settings, no digging.
• no dark patterns: we don’t guilt you for turning them off. we don’t pretend to be sad if you do.

and if a message feels off? you can tell us. we learn from that too.

the balance of being there

in the end, it’s about designing for care, not engagement. we want lucy to feel present when it matters, not because a schedule says so, but because you might need it.

and if you don’t? that’s fine. we’re quiet until you do.

you can tweak these settings anytime at /companions.